Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow

How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on

You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leavin'
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You would have no time for grievin'

Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shinin' above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

ABBA, Chiquitita

I guess this is what is called an identity crisis. I don't belong with my country anymore, but I have nobody to connect to in a new country as well. I have no idea how to celebrate Christmas, but I only want to listen to listen to the same new year songs from USSR, just because they remind me of my careless childhood and deliver a sliver of that happiness.

As a child, I didn't have a lot of music, so our new year playlist consistet mostly of ABBA and the Beatles + soviet songs, and it just felt right. Every time I hear these I am brought back to that cozy past where everything was perfect.

I would like to become a new person, but I have no idea how. Now I can only mourn the life I had to leave behind, see how my family is enjoying the new year parties, exchanging presents and singing those songs together.

I am not alone, and I know it. I have a wonderful person next to me. And we both have made this decision. It doesn't make it hurt less though.