Just came across a news article about Zuckerberg being extremely angry with his former employee who dared publish a book about FB ("Careless people" by Sarah Wynn-Williams) and now there are ongoing lawsuits trying to prevent her from promoting the book.

And guess what? By taking Sarah to court Zuckerberg actually promoted the book. There are hundreds of people on Reddit bragging about buying the book, and now it's in Top-10 on Amazon.

What are you trying to hide, I wonder?

I truly despise Meta for one-sided opinions and hypocritical claims about freedom of speech, especially during Covid and elections, so of course I found the book and started reading it immediately.

Can I just enjoy a thought of somebody making the American elite feel a slight discomfort, please?

I've just had a German lesson of my dream.

For a very, very, veeeeery long time (more than 12 years, I guess) this was the first ever moment when I truly felt that what I have learnt really HELPS ME SPEAK.

I learnt German at school, then at uni, but the quality left much to be desired: shitty books, shitty teachers.

As an English tutor myself, I know just how easy it actually is when you get a cool book and a cool teacher and suddenly the language starts making sense and you start talking without even realizing it. I always try to be in the position of a student not to lose touch with reality and remember that my student's struggle is real. They are not stupid (nobody is), it's just the brain is processing new info, and it takes time. With correct scaffolding, empathy and gamification any beginner can start talking, it was proven billions of times. This is why as a teacher I was very picky when it came to personal tutors: I can see or smell the bad ones from afar, and my standards are extremely high.

THIS IS THE MOST REFRESHING FEELING. I can actually speak. I am actually working with a C1 German book, I understand what is written and can answer the questions - it's not a joke! Hundreds of hours in Quizlet, writing esays, reading books, consuming dozens of textbooks were not in vain, after all. How wonderful!

I've been reading evidence-based medical reports for a while now, especially related to vaccines, public health and mass production of medicines. This is such a fcking circus. There is so much room for data manipulation, and distortion, vague summaries and conclusions absolutely opposite to the findings in the reports. I am truly amazed by their art of pulling the wool over the public's eyes and calling it medicine and science, even though they do everything to make the reports as anti-scientific as possible. Even the producers of some medicines or their relatives have suffered from the substances themelves, but they are delulu enough or too profit-driven to admit it. Ick!
You don't even have to be a doctor and/or super intellectual person to see the clear picture just by comparing the graphs, results, initial hypothesis and final findings and affiliation of the researchers (it's always, always the same people), you just need critical thinking.

I lost trust in doctors a while ago, and I can see some of my acquaintances getting medical degrees and how ridiculous the quality of their education is. Copy-paste reports, rote learning, absenteeism, online lectures instead of hands-on experience, and bribes, bribes, bribes. If you don't pay, you won't graduate. Instead of asking questions they are forced to have their brains stuffed with random facts, believe everything blindly and repeat these "facts" in a parrot fashion to their patients, while also being total slaves of the whole system.

I'm not trying to tower over or look down on anyone, and I know it's a scream into the void. But I just can't get over it.

It is a beautiful work of art.

Some points to be highlighted:
• Inspiration and talent are overrated. Even if you are gifted, you need to work on your skills consciously and thoroughly despite the lack of inspiration.
• Growing up is hard. Understanding people around and not being alone are essential to survive this period of transformation.
• Even if you aren't good at anything, you can be kind and helpful, and it will change your life for the better.
• Responsibility and keeping promises are extremely valuable assets.
• Sometimes people who feel confused and upset just need a friend who doesn't expect anything, just makes them feel cozy and at peace.

I guess I have lost my spark somewhere. All I do is sleep, eat, procrastinate, enjoy an occasional small thing here and there, and sometimes catch a glimpse of that enthusiastic girl that I once was. I don't even know what happened to her and why she is still sleeping somewhere deep in my mind

ARRRGHHHH it makes me so mad!!!

Yes, I can't fall back into the groove after burning out a year ago. Yes, I have no vision for my professional future and what I am going to do to make money.
Yes, I am still a very good professional who has own beliefs, ethics, system and good and deep understanding of everything.

And yes, I probably wouldn't mind some help here. How to develop myself, what to do, how to enter the market and be competitive.
But I just HAAAATEEEEE the stupid ideas that I get. Even if these ideas look profitable and can bring me money and popularity. Am I absolutely stupid because I am idealistic and don't want to go against my beliefs? Because I know what is necessary and efficient and what is bullshit? I DON'T WANT to make stupid and shallow content, these stupid and shitty videos and reels about nothing, just for views. It is just against my values. No, I am not a businesswoman! So what?! Maybe I will just remain as unsuccessful and unpopular as I am now.

I am so furious that I feel like I suddenly have an influx of energy enough to make something that is NOT what these "helpers" with "business mindset" offer me. It seems like I can do ANYTHING just to prove them wrong. To prove that I will do what I deem necessary and effective. What really works. What helps people. Not empty promises and delusions.

I won't ever be prosperous, I guess. Not like those insta-bloggers who can sell a marathon on how to breathe, how to take a shower, who make absurd reels to get hateful commentaries and consequently gain popularity.

I just hate it all.

Oh, how fun would it be to meet the younger version of myself who dreamed about immigration, as if it is all rainbows and unicorns. A promise of a better life that piques your curiosity again and again.

Actually, it is better and safer, in many aspects. In a year I'll get a citizenship and will be free to go anywhere I want, which was the ultimate goal.

But whenever I have "adult problems", I just want to scream because of how expensive/uncomfortable/inconvenient/hopeless everything is here. I checked prices for dentistry - they were crazy. Like… how are you supposed to be healthy here? To have kids? To find a good job? To afford a decent home?

Everything was so simple back in Russia that I never really stopped to even think and appreciate it. I don't think I will be back any time soon. 5 years maybe? 10? 15? I have no idea.

No matter what your reasons for leaving the country are, no matter how good your English is, no matter what you were before, no matter how much money you have. Now you become a completely new person, a stranger even for yourself.

And slowly you are losing understanding of the concept "simple life" because it won't ever be simple again. You will forever float between two camps, torn between two cultures, between the cozy and familiar past and the always foggy future, I guess.

Games, doomscrolling and almost a year out of work have definitely affected my brain. I just can't concentrate on anything, I just want to play games, eat and sleep, nothing else.

Pathetic, really.

Satisfying, too.

It's been a few years, and I should stop referring to this country as mine, and stop associating myself with that place, stop reading the news about most recent events and so on.

My family is there, and these news articles help me feel not so worried about them.

I hate the government, though, and what they have done to my country. It had such a gigantic potential. It was so good in so many aspects. It was where I grew up. Now there is only eternal prison of hate, families that split because of ideology, and life full of threats for so many people. I feel so much sorrow for what life there could have been.

I hate them so much for what they did to my country and its neighbors. Every time I think about it, I hate them. I will never, ever forgive.

I want to write a book, but I have no idea what it can be about

Anyway, I think I could make a kind of a list of top books in certain categories. In the future, if I find this post, I will be able to compare. Might be useful to somebody as well, idk

All books here are very big and very thick, many are series.

• Young adult fantasy (big series)
Leigh Bardugo "Grishaverse"
Brandon Sanderson "Mistborn"
Carlos Zafon "the Shadow of the Wind" (1 book)
Philip Pullman "His dark materials"

• Serious fantasy (big series)
Brandon Sanderson "the Stormlight archive"
Max Fry "the Labirinths of Ekho" (urban fantasy detective, it is basically Harry Potter for adults)
M. and S. Dyachenko "Metamorphoses"

• Fiction
G.D. Roberts "Shantaram"
Guzel Yakhina "Zuleikha opens her eyes"

• Science-fiction (I am not a fan or expert here, though)
Douglas Adams "The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy"
Frank Herbert "Dune" (series)
David Mitchell "Cloud atlas" (1 novel)

• Detectives, thrillers
Dan Brown "Deception point"
Stieg Larrson "The girl with a dragon tattoo" (3 books)
Steven King "Running man" (novel)
Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie (everything)

• Classical or nearly classical
Ayn Rand "Atlas shrugged"
Senkevich "Quo vadis"
J. Galsworthy "the Forsyte Saga" (a series)
A. Cronin "The stars look down"
Margaret Mitchell "Gone with the wind"
Leo Tolstoy "War and peace"
George Orwell "1984" and "Animal farm"

Not long ago I realized that it is impossible to answer the quesion "What are you favorite books?" because the books you read at the age of 20 might not impress you as much 10, 15, 20 years later. So, basically you can only say something like "Shantaram is one of the best books, and this opinion was based on my reading tastes, outlook and coordinate system in 2015, and I have no idea if I would love it now or not".

Of course, there are exceptions, but overall this rule rings true.

Friendship is being able to tell how fcking terrible you feel and describe all your awful thoughts to a person who disappeared from your life for half a year, but no hard feelings at all. She is the only one to actually understand.

Listening to Nick Cave, because I've suddenly found out he has other cool songs apart from "Oh children" from Harry Potter.

Thinking about how these winter holidays were an endless chain of eating-sleeping-playing computer games, and how I might be entering a new period of my life. It could be a fresh start, although it's cheap symbolism, of course, to think that a new year means anything at all. But what if?

Do I have the strength to start anew? I feel something changing, just slightly, or maybe these changes have already happened and now I start seeing more clearly. I don't know.

But I feel cozy. Calm. That's unexpected.

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow

How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on

You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leavin'
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You would have no time for grievin'

Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shinin' above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

ABBA, Chiquitita